
Enter Father Blog Reader. Pull the curtain. I have a confession to make. And, please, keep your robe closed at all times.
I do not carry a purse. I know, rattles the brain, doesn’t it? I am lacking in some basic ‘girls who wear pink’ gene. (I don’t own a single article of clothing in the color baby pink, so I equate purses with pink) I remember owning a small basket-weave type purse when I was a wee lassie. But, I only used it for toting around rocks, crayons, and spare change. My mom had a slew of enormous 70s purses each with that special Mom-purse smell. You know it…a combination of dirty change and chewing gum. Sifting through her purse treasures could kill away an entire afternoon.
So, where did I inherit my disdain for the functional feminine accessory? Not from dear ole Mom, obviously.
All of those years of “Be Cool…Stay in School” and working in labs allowed me to bypass the purse route for the much hipper backpack. And, I could pack a backpack. Mostly pens and mechanical pencils…I have a disorder wherein I collect these items and prefer to have one at arm’s reach wherever I am in the house and/or car…if my eyes are ever poked out by a band of eyeball lovin’ woodpeckers, I’ll always have the steady reassurance of knowing where a pen is.
Now, with Gab and the upcoming twins, I have the diaper bag excuse. I have been much less selfish with the diaper bag space only allowing myself a pen or two. Lordy knows the unpredictable youth require multiples of every baby item known to mankind to ward off or stop tantrums mid-stream. Or, when all else fails, even surrender the entire diaper bag to Lord Voldemort in the back seat, “Here, here, here, just take the whole dang thing. Knock yourself out.” And, you know what she’ll eventually unearth amid the sea of squeaky, squishy, jingly, jangly toys…she achieves her personal zen state with my pens. Like mother like daughter.
Backpacks, diaper bags. Those are great if I’m walking around a college campus or have the token baby on my person. I guess I could even carry both around at the same time while alone in a convenience store if I wanted to appear deranged. (which is not a far cry for me these days…if one more person tells me how SKINNY I used to be and how different I look now, we’re talking spontaneous human combustion) But, I’m not going for crazy. I like to give off a slight air of sanity.
Which brings me to last Wednesday’s OB appointment where I was subjected to a rousing game of musical waiting/patient rooms. Each time a nurse popped her head in the door, “dee, follow me, please,” I looked at my pile of:
8 quarters for parking, book, *iPod, keys, pad of paper, pen (see, I told you, it’s a sickness), chapstickand thought, “Geez, I need a purse.”
*iPod update: Gab had corrupted my pleasure listening device a while back when, without a diaper bag in the car, I surrendered the iPod in an act of desperation for world peace. Through my superior knowledge in electronic gadgetry, I was able to resurrect the dead. Ok, I simply reset it to the factory settings and reloaded my tunes. But, I do hear a handful of rattlesnake tails anytime I turn it on or press a button.
ADDENDUM: Because I have a rusty hamster wheel for a brain these days, I just remembered there are folks around the ‘net posting about environmental issues today. And, here and I went a blogging about purses. Don’t fret. I’ll tie these puppies together (but won’t put them in a bag of rocks to drop off a bridge…ouch).
Ladies, stop filling our landfills with purses! Start shoving your sundries into your pockets. And, men, that includes you and your man-purses, too.
Jokes aside, I do look out for Mother Earth where I can. We recycle plastics, cardboard/paper, aluminum…they’re picked up once a week curbside here in my neighborhood which is very handy. I’ve got a buttload of glass to carry downtown to a recycling center (but, I have to remove the labels first…any tips on an easy way to do that?). I also carry my many, many Wal-Mart (oooh, there’s that nasty word again) plastic bags and egg cartons to the local Publix grocery store to recycle. (there are a few Publix bags and other chains mixed in there, so they’re not all bags from the devil’s lair…I get around like that) What else? I noticed we were going through far too many cases of bottled water, so we filter water in a dandy little pitcher in the fridge. Lastly, I do the freecycle thing when I’m ready to part with any belongings.
So, there…easy on the purses and protect our Big Ole Mama Earth!
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